Quick catchup on what’s been happening in my life. 
Read more
Dear Baby,
You were with me for just 7 weeks. You were the new year baby, the hime hajime gift.
You’ll never know how much just staying with me for 7 weeks meant to me. The fact that you could find a home with me for that long makes me happy. I’m sad that my home wasn’t the best place for you, and that you departed last weekend. But I don’t hold it against you, because I know someday we’ll meet again, you and I.
I love you as much as any baby that would go to full-term. Yasu loves you too. In fact, he was so excited about you that he was already coming up with baby names. He was really sad that you went away, but he knows you had your reasons.
You have spurred me onto greater things. I’ve taken your departure not as a loss but as a gain to a new life and a new body. Keeping you in my heart and mind always, I am determined to fight to get my body back. When I get to my new place of well being I will try to meet you again.
I have gone through so many emotions to get to this place. I was angry at life and angry at you, and angry at everyone. I was angry because my next door neighbours yell “shut the fuck up” to their 6 month old baby. I was angry because one of my friends always complain about how they never get any sleep because of their 1 year old. I was angry because a former colleague of mine is always trying to fob their kids off onto others. I silently pleaded with them
“don’t you know what I would give just to be tired because a baby kept me up all night?”
“don’t you appreciate what you’ve got?? I would LOVE to be in YOUR shoes“.
But in the end, focusing on what others have and my lack of is not the way to gain. Contrast is neither good nor bad. I’m willing to appreciate that everyone is on their own journeys.
You came to me, you made ME tired. I was so tired I couldn’t get out of bed some days. But I loved it when I knew why. I appreciate that you made the effort to come to me and let me love you.
I know that when you come back into my life again I will be so grateful. I will appreciate every part of you. If I have to get up ten million times in a night just to be by your side, I will be there without complaint. You will be bathed in our love. I will never try to be away from you. In fact, you’ll probably want to get away from us!
When you come back to us dear baby, we will be ready for you, and my body will be a proper home. Until then I will be working hard, sending you lots of healing energy, and waiting for your return.
I love you so much xoxo
Remember that old song?
Anyways I was surprised when I went to the letterbox and found a letter in there from Canada. It was addressed to both of us, but looking at the address – Penticton – I knew where it was from. Read more
Today was another really good day. My mum came over and we caught up. She brought with her all the documents of the family tree she had got from the guy who had contacted her through the paper about her uncle that died in France. It was really interesting. I put in my details and added Yasu to our family tree, it has more of an international flavour now. Read more
It’s about time for an update. Although I’d love to follow the trend and say nothing. Read more
I’m searching for a present for my sister-in-law and my search for something おしゃれhas got me thinking I’ll just buy something online from Japan and get it sent to her.
The problem is I don’t know any of the Japanese sites people go to for sending gifts or cute/popular stuff.
So does anyone have any idea? I’ve looked at Honyaradoh because she usually buys us gifts from there. Some of the stuff is pretty cute but nothing has actually jumped out at me, so I just want to find some other sites with gifts to have a look at.
She lives alone and doesn’t really need any furniture or anything. Probably something cute but practical. She’s seriously into Panda’s and I had a look on San-x Japan because of their character tare panda but there was really nothing much besides key holders and coin pouches.
Anyone have any ideas? I really need to decide by the end of this week because her birthday is on 26th feb.
Any suggestions really appreciated!!
