Yasu’s cousin and his wife gave birth to their second child about 6 months ago. Her name is Niko. I have no idea what the kanji is for that, but i can’t help but call her “niko niko” even though i’ve never seen what she looks like. Niko has an older brother called Yuuto, but luckily i have seen what he looks like.
Well anyway, back in the day when Yuuto was born, i was being the dutiful wife and sending out obligatory presents to births, marriages, and any other events like new years cards and stuff like that. However, being as we’re living in Australia, and i have my own social obligations such as birthdays, christmas, easter, and my own aussie family to do stuff for as well, it sort of got too much and i stopped doing it. I didn’t actually say i was going to stop, i just stopped. That was just about 2 years ago, right after Yuuto was born.
No one seemed to mind, well if they did, they never said anything. Until Niko came along that is. Since she was born, the pressure was on to buy a gift and send it to Japan. But because i don’t do that anymore, the duty fell to Yasu, and as we all know he’s so busy with work he barely gets time to sit down and relax let alone go out baby clothes shopping. So anyway, i left it alone. I wasn’t going to go there. Soon enough, when he called his mum every two weeks she started nagging him about the present. Every time he got on the phone to her she asked him “have you sent the present to Niko yet?” and Yasu would respond “no, but i’ll send one next week”, this kept on for 6 months, by which time i was having a big inside chuckle every time he got on the phone and got asked the same question. Ahh so now you know Yasu, what a pain in the ass it is to have to do this crap for people i’ve never even met!
It got so that Yasu stopped calling his mum altogether. He waited a month, then he called. The first thing his mum said was “have you sent that present yet?”. Haha, she doesn’t give up. Ever.
Finally Yasu turned to me and said, “i have to get that present for Niko”. I said, “ok, do you know what size she is?” Uh, no. He hadn’t checked. This resulted in another phone call to mum to ask what size Niko is. Mum didn’t know of course so then she had to ring the cousin to find out. The only thing wrong with that is that now cousin is definitely expecting a present any time soon.
Yasu kept getting more hours at work and didn’t end up buying the present. I got sick of all the waiting around and went out and bought two pink jumpsuits with cutesy frills and butterflies and an educational toy that squeaks and crinkles when Target was having 20% off in their baby products. I bought wrapping paper and a card. I brought it home. Yasu was ever so grateful he didn’t have to go looking at baby stuff. I told him to pull his finger out and start writing the card, wrap it and i would post it. That was two weeks ago. The baby clothes and toy is still sitting in the bag on the kitchen table. It hasn’t been wrapped, the card not written on.
I have no intention of doing this for him no matter how much i love him. Firstly because i have no idea the names of Niko’s parents (i’ve forgotten) and secondly that’s his job at least, i’ve done everything else. It might seem selfish of me, but jeez, in my mind the selfish one is his mother and cousin…they obviously forget that we have our own life here, in Australia, with cousins and uncles and nephews that we know. Also, postage to Japan for a small thing starts at $10, then on top of that the present, wrapping, card…it all adds up big time. Whatever happened to sending a card as an acknowledgement? Now we have these presents we have to send internationally as well. In my family it’s the thought that counts, but not in Yasu’s. It’s some social/family obligation. His mum says if we don’t do it they will look bad as they are in Japan and we are not. I have a solution to that problem – why doesn’t she just buy the present and say it’s from all of us? It would save a lot of time and money. Why do Japanese always have to do things the hard way?
So anyway, i’m not pushing it any further. I’m just letting the present sit on the kitchen table. I move everything around it. Yasu hasn’t even glanced at it. By the time he gets around to sending it she will be too big to wear it, probably. In the meantime every phone call to mum will result in a question about the present. Life! Sometimes you have to laugh or you’ll cry.
