Kelly Azuma

Went to H.I.S today to get Yasu and my JR passes. A Japanese guy girl walked in before me and a staff member called out irasshaimase! Then I walked in there was silence, no one called out anything. After me, a Japanese guy walked in and there was an irasshaimase.

What bugs me is that both those people walked out without buying anything. I walked out having spent $743 and I didn’t get the same courtesy awarded to me as they did. Okay it’s primarily a ‘Japanese’ company, but they’re here in Perth which means anyone can use their business.

When I sat down the guy said, ‘how did you know our company?’ and I said that we had used his company last time we went to Japan. That seemed to sate his curiosity.

They weren’t rude to me, I just wish that it wasn’t so glaringly obvious that I’m not ‘welcome’ when I walk in the door. They feel welcome enough to take my money though, obviously.

Okay, for all the women out there in a relationship in blogger land, any kind of relationship. Do you feel that it is equal?

By saying that I mean that, you have equality. That your partner is not higher than you. That you are not higher than him. You don’t boss or get bossed around.

In my relationship with Yasu, I basically set out the boundary when we got married and said, “We are equal. We are not in Japan, so don’t think you’re higher than me, you’re not. We live in Australia where men and women are equal (or I would like to think we are)”.

We are equal in that everything we decide is jointly decided. I find though that there is a natural progression in our relationship whereby at some things we are not equal.

Because Yasu is a non-native speaker of English, I find the burden of dealing with answering the phone, calling banks, paperwork, dealing with servicemen, ordering food, all to be on my side of the scales, where he has none. Although not his fault, it sometimes is really stressful for me as he refuses to take on any of these responsibilities mainly because the people on the other end of the phone or the other side of the counter, can’t understand him because of his strong accent. The constant “sorry?” “what did you say?” “pardon?” has given him such a phobia of dealing with people outside our circle.

I don’t blame him, but on the down side, I feel as if I’m doing what I should be doing, plus his side of things. At times I have resented it because I also suffer with depression and I have days where I can’t face anyone outside our house, and the process of calling someone up means I have to put on a cheery voice and be sociable, when I don’t feel like that. Sometimes I have thought, “why me?”, and hastily retracted it because I felt that it’s not Yasu’s fault that others can’t understand him, it’s just something that happened.

So basically, in your life with your husband/bf/significant other, is there a point in your relationship where you are not equal? And if so, how does this affect you? Or is your relationship equal in every way?