Kelly Azuma

That one little bottle of liquid could cause so much trouble?

I was reminded of an incident at Nagoya airport on the way out of Japan, when I bought this bottle of Aqium Anti-bacterial hand gel today.

I have a handbag that is actually a carry-all for toiletries, keys, lollies, snacks, mobile phone, ipod touch, tissues, water bottle, notebook, pens, and whatever else is the flavour of the month at the time.

Toiletries include a bottle of anti-bacterial hand gel because you never know when you’re going to get something icky on your hands in a public place where there are no toilets (yes, this happens quite regularly in Aus).

Who would have thought this little bottle could cause so much angst?

So anyway, when I went to Japan, knowing I was going on a long flight via Singapore, I bought a new bottle of gel to take in my handbag. I did use it on the way, and successfully took it through Nagoya airport without any problems.

Now, here’s the funny part. On the way out of the airport, at the customs gate, they put my handbag through the x-ray machine. Yasu was ahead of me and finished, walked off and out, but I was stopped and asked to stay at the side.

The officer came over to me and said he needed to look in my handbag, so he unzipped it, and took out every item in my handbag, examined it carefully and put it back. He then asked me if he could x-ray the handbag again. I said ok, and he put it through again.

Then he brought my handbag over to me and said there was some trouble, and did I have a water bottle in my handbag? I said no, and he had just checked it, so if there was one, he surely would have seen it. He decided to check my handbag again, and this time took all items out and put them on the counter.

Meanwhile a hundred other Japanese people are going through the checkpoints with no hassles, and guess who feels like they are being targeted as a possible water-smuggling terrorist?

So at the point of taking out my anti-bacterial gel, the officer suddenly has a lightbulb moment and holding up my bottle of gel said, what is this? I didn’t know what the word was, so I had to call Yasu over and get him to explain what it was. The officer then said to me, No, you can’t take this out of Japan.

I’m sorry? I brought this into Japan, you let me pass into Japan, with my Aus-made gel, yet I can’t go out of Japan with it?? He then explained to Yasu that it was against Japanese law to take anti-bacterial gel out of Japan.

Of all the stupid laws in the world, I think this has to be the stupidest. I was quite angry, because I felt like I had been picked on just for being non-Japanese. It was obvious they wanted to find something, at first they said water bottle, but then when they found the gel, they found the thing that they could make up an on-the-spot law for.

So I argued back and forth with Yasu and the officer, because I was pretty sure that it was a fake-ass law, and I said to the guy, look I brought this in with me, you guys let me in here with this gel, now you’re saying I can’t go out with it?? What the hell??

I was getting pretty agitated and wasn’t backing down, and I could see the guy was getting flustered, and he started to just ignore me and talked to Yasu to get him to make me see sense. Don’t you just hate that??

I couldn’t win, I just couldn’t, because then all these other officers were called over saying I had to give them the gel, and if I didn’t, I would be detained. I mean I really just wanted to get the hell out of there, but I’m stubborn, I don’t like giving in, especially when I know it’s just a fake-ass law they made up on the spot.

But anyway, I gave in, and we were on our way, and I was warned that in future I was not to bring anti-bacterial gel through customs, going out of Japan.

Yasu surmised they are having an anti-bacterial gel shortage because of the public panic of swine flu, so they detain all the gaijin and confiscate their gel.

Who knows? Could be. Wonder if any other gaijin has had a similar experience?

I found this somewhat offensive. The term “gaijin” or “outside person” is somewhat derogatory, they could have used “australia jin” to refer to me.

What gets me is that, once you go out of your native country, YOU become the foreigner! The Japanese people i have spoken to seem not to realise this!

So how do Japanese people feel about being referred to as a “gaijin” themselves? According to our friends, it’s not a word they would use to describe themselves. How about “Jap” then? As alot of people in Aus seem to call them that, unbeknownst to them.

I don’t know about you but it’s just one of those things that really ticks me off. All these double standards. It makes it seem like Japanese people think they are higher than other races because they never refer to themselves as “gaijin”.

What are your thoughts?

Yasu’s cousin and his wife gave birth to their second child about 6 months ago. Her name is Niko. I have no idea what the kanji is for that, but i can’t help but call her “niko niko” even though i’ve never seen what she looks like. Niko has an older brother called Yuuto, but luckily i have seen what he looks like.

Well anyway, back in the day when Yuuto was born, i was being the dutiful wife and sending out obligatory presents to births, marriages, and any other events like new years cards and stuff like that. However, being as we’re living in Australia, and i have my own social obligations such as birthdays, christmas, easter, and my own aussie family to do stuff for as well, it sort of got too much and i stopped doing it. I didn’t actually say i was going to stop, i just stopped. That was just about 2 years ago, right after Yuuto was born.

No one seemed to mind, well if they did, they never said anything. Until Niko came along that is. Since she was born, the pressure was on to buy a gift and send it to Japan. But because i don’t do that anymore, the duty fell to Yasu, and as we all know he’s so busy with work he barely gets time to sit down and relax let alone go out baby clothes shopping. So anyway, i left it alone. I wasn’t going to go there. Soon enough, when he called his mum every two weeks she started nagging him about the present. Every time he got on the phone to her she asked him “have you sent the present to Niko yet?” and Yasu would respond “no, but i’ll send one next week”, this kept on for 6 months, by which time i was having a big inside chuckle every time he got on the phone and got asked the same question. Ahh so now you know Yasu, what a pain in the ass it is to have to do this crap for people i’ve never even met!

It got so that Yasu stopped calling his mum altogether. He waited a month, then he called. The first thing his mum said was “have you sent that present yet?”. Haha, she doesn’t give up. Ever.

Finally Yasu turned to me and said, “i have to get that present for Niko”. I said, “ok, do you know what size she is?” Uh, no. He hadn’t checked. This resulted in another phone call to mum to ask what size Niko is. Mum didn’t know of course so then she had to ring the cousin to find out. The only thing wrong with that is that now cousin is definitely expecting a present any time soon.

Yasu kept getting more hours at work and didn’t end up buying the present. I got sick of all the waiting around and went out and bought two pink jumpsuits with cutesy frills and butterflies and an educational toy that squeaks and crinkles when Target was having 20% off in their baby products. I bought wrapping paper and a card. I brought it home. Yasu was ever so grateful he didn’t have to go looking at baby stuff. I told him to pull his finger out and start writing the card, wrap it and i would post it. That was two weeks ago. The baby clothes and toy is still sitting in the bag on the kitchen table. It hasn’t been wrapped, the card not written on.

I have no intention of doing this for him no matter how much i love him. Firstly because i have no idea the names of Niko’s parents (i’ve forgotten) and secondly that’s his job at least, i’ve done everything else. It might seem selfish of me, but jeez, in my mind the selfish one is his mother and cousin…they obviously forget that we have our own life here, in Australia, with cousins and uncles and nephews that we know. Also, postage to Japan for a small thing starts at $10, then on top of that the present, wrapping, card…it all adds up big time. Whatever happened to sending a card as an acknowledgement? Now we have these presents we have to send internationally as well. In my family it’s the thought that counts, but not in Yasu’s. It’s some social/family obligation. His mum says if we don’t do it they will look bad as they are in Japan and we are not. I have a solution to that problem – why doesn’t she just buy the present and say it’s from all of us? It would save a lot of time and money. Why do Japanese always have to do things the hard way?

So anyway, i’m not pushing it any further. I’m just letting the present sit on the kitchen table. I move everything around it. Yasu hasn’t even glanced at it. By the time he gets around to sending it she will be too big to wear it, probably. In the meantime every phone call to mum will result in a question about the present. Life! Sometimes you have to laugh or you’ll cry.

Recently while watching popular programs on NHK such as “ためしてガッテン！” i’ve started noticing the sexism displayed. Considering that our satellite NHK is “World Premium” and airs to every other country on the planet, Japan is showing to all how sexist they are.

On Gatten yesterday they were talking about Charcoal used in bbq’s. The woman co-host on the show had to lug a big bucket filled with charcoal and water all the way across the studio, with the camera focused on her, while the male co-host stood there with some tongs in his hand. You could clearly see the poor woman could barely lift the bucket and she was hunched over trying to lift it. Not only did the male co-host not offer a hand, the fact that the cameraman showed her trying to lift it and not getting any help or offer of help is bloody depressing. It just reinforced to me that Japan hasn’t changed one iota, they still view women as lower than they are. It really incensed me, as a woman. Then after she had brought the bucket of water over to the male co-host she had to scurry back to the platform and give a talk about charcoal while the male co-host put two pieces of charcoal on the bbq table. Woah! Big effort there man, don’t break your back!

Yakiniku on Tameshite Gatten

Of course Yasu thinks it’s hilarious that i find it so infuriating. He can see my point of view but it doesn’t stick out to him like it does to me. I guess Japanese males have been conditioned to not notice these things. How much easier would it have been for the guy to get the bucket and carry it over for his co-host? Such a simple thing. But he stood there like an idiot and watched with everyone else as she struggled with the bucket. These kind of things just make me so angry.

I think men and women are equal, in fact when i married Yasu i told him in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t and would never be higher than me. It’s a fact he accepted. Yet when we were in Japan he was always treated like he was higher than me, especially by his parents. This is digressing but when we went to a Japanese restaurant as a family, the restaurant served my father in law first, and then my mother in law, then Yasu and his sister, and lastly me (if ever i felt like an outsider it was then!). My father in law ate his meal and was finished before anyone even got theirs, and when i was living with Yasu’s parents, my father in law was always served first and started eating, not waiting for anyone else.

When i grew up it was just basic table manners to wait for everyone else to get their meals before starting. And even if male relatives did get served first, they waited until everyone else to get theirs before starting.

I know it’s a cultural difference, something that is offensive to me is normal to them. But Yasu expects that when his family comes to stay with us, his father is shown the same form of “respect”. Uh, hello, but we are all equal here, and as much as i respect his family, i won’t be allowing the father to just chow down before anyone else. “So maybe my family shouldn’t come to Perth then” is Yasu’s response. So that means Japanese guys shouldn’t have to change just because they go to someone else’s country?? Give me a break.

There is a great saying “when in Rome, do as the Roman’s do”, which i love. I just think it exemplifies what going to another country is all about.

Will his parents ever come to Perth? I’m not sure if his father could handle it. That’s going to be massive culture shock for him, but devil as i am, i’d love to see it.

For all the people currently living in Japan male or female, does sexism bother you? Do you even notice it anymore? Does it make you angry? Have you ever tried to change it?