I wasn’t going to blog about this but I decided to as I need to get it off my chest.
Last Friday I got a postive pregnancy test. Yasu and I were over the moon. It was great to finally be able to say I was pregnant, and know what it feels like.
The weekend started out great, we went shopping and were coming home when I started to get cramps. I had cramps all through the pregnancy (6 weeks) so I wasn’t very concerned.
I went to the toilet and noticed a few drops of blood but I thought it was probably nothing to worry about. Later that evening the cramps got worse and bright red blood started to come out. The pain was so bad I took panadeine forte, nurofen, and panadol, all of which did not even touch the pain. Yasu sat up with me all night while my body expelled our precious child.
It has been a very difficult process for both of us, particularly Yasu, who has taken it very hard. He has always wanted kids, and to find out he was going to have one, then immediately lose it, well that was too much.
I have still had alot of pain because it is still coming out to a degree, though is getting less every day.
At the moment I can’t face pregnancy or the prospect of getting pregnant again. It’s all too emotional and raw for me at the moment.
Although Yasu wants to try again, I just don’t have the ability to try at the moment. I need some time to myself to process it, and sort my life out.
Before you say “it will happen when it is meant to”, please reconsider. I have had that said to me over and over by various friends and family members all these years and I’m sick of hearing it. Those that don’t find it hard to fall pregnant, or have not lost a baby, have no idea, the pain and agony those words cause the people who do.
Basically I have been putting on a “happy face” on my blog because I didn’t want to drag others down with my sorrow. This is the first and last post I will talk about this incident. I had to get it out there.
