Kelly Azuma

• I went to Yoga on Wednesday night and the teacher, Sui, told me I should give it a go anyway because when she was in a car accident and broke her wrist and had whiplash she still did yoga, and it actually made her better and strengthened her wrist and neck. So I did give it a go, and it actually wasn’t too bad. I didn’t push myself, only did as much as I could.
• Halfway through the yoga I was called into the AGM that was happening in the next room and stood for election onto the community centre committee, and won! I was sworn in that night and am now officially a member of the committee. Our next meeting is on 18^th November to decide on a few projects coming up and to set who will be doing what. I’ve already learned a whole heap of stuff, it’s really interesting.
• One of the women in my life skills course, I found out today,  is a clairvoyant and a healer. It also turned out she is going away and needed someone to stay at her beautiful house up in the hills for 4 days (weekend) while her and her husband go away. She has a mini-farm with sheep, dogs, a horse, goats, chooks, and cats and it overlooks the whole of Perth. Anyway, Yasu and I will be staying at her house over the weekend she is away, so it will be like a mini holiday of our own! Add to the fact I just love animals, so it really will be a pleasure.
• I have also been talking with a friend in Melbourne and we have made plans for me to go there in February to go to the Soundwave Music Festival together. Our favourite band, Faith No More, is playing after reuniting again, so it will be a blast. I will be staying for a few days so I can hang out with him and his wife and their two young sons who I am yet to meet! It’s been about 7 years since my last visit.
• As well as that, we are heading to Adelaide for Christmas, driving over, to stay with a high school friend of mine who just moved there with her partner, because of his work. So it’s all very exciting!
• Melbourne Cup Day is coming up on Tuesday and I’ve been invited to my Reiki Master’s house for a Cup Day party, all our ‘spooky’ friends will be there, so it will be a fun day!! Plus which one of us will be the better psychic and pick the winning horse??
• I’ve put in an early order for a good pair of sunglasses for xmas from Yasu… anyone have any ideas about good brands? I’m totally new to this… I’ve never owned a really good pair, but with the sun so bright now, and summer on the horizon, squinting is making the skin around my eyes go wrinkly so I really need to get some good ones, the darker the better.
• On the weight front, I’ve dropped another 3kg and 5cm from my waist. I’ve had some small-er clothes in my wardrobe for a while, and I can now fit into them, so yay. I haven’t really changed what I have been eating consciously, but I noticed once I started drinking 2.5 litres of water per day, and walking 3.2km per day, the craving for sweets has gone out the window. I also eat far less than I used to, it’s as if my body needs less, and I definitely can feel now when I’ve had enough.
• I bought a papa-san chair online, you know those round chairs on a frame you can sink right into? I bought one from someone else, but it was practically brand new, hardly ever used, beautiful black suede and so big and comfy. I have been meditating in it every day, and it’s sooo good. I mean I can get really comfy and the meditation is just so enhanced by that. And it was only $30 so a very good buy!
• Somehow I keep winning competitions. I won some energy saving lightbulbs last week, and this week I won a potato chips competition I entered online and received a big box of mixed potato chips from the company! I also entered another competition, and was one of 400 people worldwide to win a bunch of cool prizes which I was just notified about last night, so I’m waiting to receive them by courier!
• I felt it was time to come off the anti-depressants (Luvox) I have been on for the past 9 years. In the beginning I was taking 11 different pills in the morning and 11 pills at night. 8 of those were anti-depressants because at 22 I was suicidal after a personal incident. From there it all just snowballed and I ended up with all these pills after seeing a psychiatrist. Over the last few years I’ve taken myself off most of them, and have, for the last 2 years been on only 1 anti-depressant per day. That’s a big step down from 22 pills per day. Anyway, I felt that now is the time to come off totally, but with anti-depressants you can’t stop just like that because the withdrawal symptoms are hell. If even I missed one pill by forgetting to take it, the next day I would suffer hellish withdrawal symptoms until I took the pill and even then it would take half a day to work. The symptoms are feeling like you’re going to vomit, or actually vomiting, dizzyness, headaches, anger, extreme sleepiness, nausea etc. It’s just like with any other drug. So bit by bit I’ve been coming off. It means for me, cutting the pill by myself unless I want the rigmarole of buying a lesser dose pill, but instead I just cut off a bit, one pill for me is 100 miligrams, so cut the end off it becomes 80 mg, then abit more 70, etc, until now I’ve got it down to 50. I’m hoping within the next week or so I can get it down somewhere to 30. Hopefully by mid-november I can be off them altogether. It’s somewhat fast the way I’m doing it, usually it would be slower than this, but I’ve been giving myself reiki every day and it really helps with the symptoms, so I’m not feeling it as much. Also, when I get determined about something, nothing is going to make me stop, so the willpower that I need to get me through is strong, thankfully.

Phew!!

Whenever my mum goes into hospital, she ends up getting an infection on top of what is already wrong with her, and doesn’t come out before 3 or 4 weeks are up.

This time I decided that every night I would send some Reiki healing to her (distance healing) with an outcome for the next day.

I started sending the healing on Sunday night. Yesterday I went in and found her up and walking around despite just having had major kidney surgery. While I was there, to my surprise, they unplugged her from all her cords and monitors, so that she only had a drain in.

Last night I came home and did another powerful Reiki healing with a vision of her leaving by Thursday this week.

Imagine my surprise when my sister called me at lunch time today to tell me that my mum would be released from hospital tomorrow! (wednesday)

I haven’t said anything about healing to my family as they are not really believers, and I don’t want to take any credit, I just wanted to speed up her healing so she wouldn’t be wallowing around in hospital. I am really glad I could do my part to send her home early, and not only that, to help her get better in record time.

My mum will come and stay with us for a few days as my brother can’t take care of my mum, and his girlfriend will have no idea what to do if mum feels ill or needs help with something.
Yasu and my mum get on fine, so he never makes a fuss, in fact we have a guest room in our house that was made for when mum comes to stay sometimes.

I had a great day on Saturday. I went to see my mum and we spent time together. We went to see a sculpture exhibition on the beach, all art was made out of recycled items, there really were some excellent pieces. I hope to post pictures later, but first I need to get a usb cable for my new phone.

Then we had fish n’ chips on the beach. It was nice, but kind of interrupted by a woman who locked her keys in the car, and her kids kept running around near where we were eating and trying to run through our fish n’ chips and she didn’t do anything. They also ran over and stomped all over this old man’s papers and he got angry and told them to shoo. Later he came over to us and had a grumble about parents who can’t raise their kids properly.

After that we went to the shopping centre and did a bit of shopping, I bought something for Okaasan for mother’s day, and we got some afternoon tea and took it back to her house and had some. After that mum dropped me at the train station and Yasu picked me up from the train station near our house.

I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. When we got home I set about making dinner but Yasu was sulking. After dinner he started an argument with me and ended up kicking the bin and breaking the lid (the second bin he has broken like this) and then he went into our bedroom and swept all the things off my bedside table. My lamp, the telephone, my jewellery, my ipod. He got the mattress and pulled it up off the bed and threw it against the wall (no mean feat) and the standing lamp also fell over. All the bed clothes came off and went on the floor. I had only just freshly made that bed too.

I was so upset, but Yasu wouldn’t talk to me. He ignored me. He just got into bed and said “I’m sleeping”. When I tried to talk to him, he wouldn’t open his eyes.

So in the end I just sat down next to him and I said

“Yasu, I don’t think I deserve this treatment. Every day you come home and you’re angry about something, and you start a fight, and I don’t know why. If only you would talk to me about what is going on, I’m sure we could get through it, but you refuse to.

I do everything I can for you, I try to be a really good wife. I’ve had health problems for two years straight, which I have been trying to get over. I really don’t need this shit from you, you know? Some days I am so sick, but I get up, I have a shower, I make myself fresh, and I cook dinner because I know you’re coming home after a long day’s work and you’re tired. I do my best to make your life easier.

I love you, but I can’t take it anymore, all this angry business. All the yelling and the shouting and swearing. It’s stressing me out. I can’t take it anymore. So listen here, you better pull your socks up mate. If you don’t pull your socks up by the end of this week then I AM LEAVING. I am serious. I just cannot take it anymore.”

And with that, I tucked him into bed and left the room.

Sunday morning Yasu woke me up at 8am and asked me if I wanted to go to the local markets. So off we went and he was back to his usual calm self.

In the afternoon he talked to me and told me he didn’t want to be angry anymore and could I help him by doing some Reiki on him like I used to do.

Today has brought new revelations in that he’s finally talking about what is going on at work instead of bottling it all up. Before, he refused to talk about work to me, saying that he “didn’t want to worry me” and he “didn’t want to bring work home”, but I feel that we are here for each other, we should lean on each other, and tell each other about our day, good or bad. That is why we committed to each other, so we could share the highs and the lows. Together.

I think I am making some progress with him, and I am glad he decided he didn’t want to be angry anymore.